Various chapeaus are cool

Just your average southern-raised, sports-fanatic, church lady-esque, slightly free-spirited, spastically-hyper, constantly dreaming, occasionally stylish, overly emotional, always compassionate, never-endingly joyous, wannabe Brit thrown in a convenient, travel-sized package.

free counters
Free counters

Talking about a particularly shitty customer

  • Kitchen guy: He needs to eat a bag of dicks.
  • Grocery guy: A big bag of dicks.
  • Kitchen guy: A value, family-size bag of dicks.
  • Me: He needs to go to Sam's Club and buy the wholesale bag of dicks.
  • Kitchen guy: Right on, Erin. Right on.




abeautyinyourresistance:

all i want is an apartment in a city and a decent job, a dog, wifi and a tv, and someone to have sex with

Agreed, except an old farmhouse in the country instead of apartment in a city.




  • Financial secretary: I don't remember the verse in the Bible about voting Republican.
  • Me: It's in there.
  • Financial secretary: Maybe I got the 10 Commandments confused.
  • Me: Nah, it's in Leviticus.
  • Financial secretary: Ah, of course.
  • Me: In between the verse about not sowing a field with two seed and not blending fabrics.
  • Financial secretary: Definitely. I need to read my Bible again and find that.


Forgive the messiness of my room, but here’s my, uh, Gryffindor outfit?

Forgive the messiness of my room, but here’s my, uh, Gryffindor outfit?


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